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(703): Our house drank 90 beers...
(703): Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list.
(941): When your guy changes his...
(941): When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress.
5 Dumb Movie Tropes They Need To Bring Back
By Tom Reimann Published: February 26th, 2017
(503): I remember the Prince...
(503): I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
(206): I went to smoke a bowl and...
(206): I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
12 Rules Anyone Considering Making A Reboot Should Follow
By CRACKED Readers Published: February 26th, 2017
21 People Confess What They Secretly Hate About Their Significant Other
(703): Rain drop, shock top,...
(703): Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop.
5 Things Men Willing To Learn About Female Orgasms
By Kathy Benjamin Published: February 26th, 2017
(514): Just had a flashback of...
(514): Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
5 Absurd As Seen On TV Products (That Are Secretly Useful)
By Pauli Poisuo Published: February 26th, 2017
5 Insane Video Games That Almost Ruined Great Franchises
By Ivan Farkas Published: February 26th, 2017
7 Realities Of Being Trans Back Before You Knew We Existed
By Robert Evans Published: February 26th, 2017
(440): Thanks to you I just...
(440): Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence.
(832): Okay but look at his...
(832): Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Christopher Lee's Life Is Way Cooler Than Yours
By Chris Sutcliffe Published: February 25th, 2017
(651): He fucked my brains out...
(651): He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
(865): He yanked my breathe right...
(865): He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The Real Reason For The Trans Bathroom Panic
By Ian Fortey Published: February 25th, 2017
The Biggest Lie In Science: Little Kids Changing The World
By Adam Wears Published: February 25th, 2017
6 Real Inventions That Would Seem Over The Top In A Movie
By lror Published: February 25th, 2017
22 Surprisingly Surreal Scenes From Your Own Home Planet
By CRACKED Readers Published: February 25th, 2017
4 Reasons Why Oscar Voting Is Dumb, Explained By A Voter
By Robert Evans,Evan V. Symon,Saundra Sorenson Published: February 25th, 2017
(651): Im going to the...
(651): Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
(763): And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world.
14 Oddly Satisfying Home Goods You Never Knew You Needed
Leave no trace of avocado behind.
(940): My friend just got engaged...
(940): My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
(817): Your life rocks...
(604): That awkward moment when...
(604): That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
(317): Did you ever hear the story...
(317): Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
(701): He noticed my new Lipstick...
(701): He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
(330): he's so hot I'd...
(330): he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in.
This Week In Bullsh*t Beauty Trends: 'Snogged' Lips
Um, this is how I look when I wake up after a regrettable night.
Camel Toe Underwear Is The Newest Trend Nobody Asked For
NO NO NO.
5 Reasons To Say “Hell Yes” This Week
Adorable Dog Who Waits For A Girl After School Every Day Has Captured The Internet's Heart
A better love story than Twilight!
This Horrible Face Swap Of A Toddler And His Train Will Make You Say 'GTFO, Satan'
Nope, nope, nope.
38 Of The Most Depressing Lies In The History Of Food
I believed in you.
(817): Every text my dad sends me...
(817): Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
10 Ridiculous Facts We Learned This Week (2/24/17)
By CRACKED Writing Staff,Andres Diplotti Published: February 24th, 2017
8 Family Movies That Were Horror Films Behind The Scenes
By JM McNab Published: February 24th, 2017
5 People Who Made Us Say 'Aw, HELL Naw!' This Week
Lots of weird sh*t just happened.
(613): Like either my tits got...
(613): Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome.
Here's What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week
(320): You know how it is. Tell me...
(320): You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Most People You Can Handle, These 5 People Are Why You Drink
By Ian Fortey Published: February 24th, 2017
16 Tattoos Your Parents Won't Even Mind (Hopefully)
Small but mighty.
Twitter Users Are Fanning Themselves Over This Photo Of Justin Trudeau's Butt
Oh ... my.
(613): So high I legit spent...
(613): So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
These Scary Tales Of Ambien-Induced Shenanigans Are A Wake Up Call
Lock your doors and unplug everything.
(252): Even though I'm gonna...
(252): Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
13 Of The Most Impressive Deals Amazon Has To Offer Today
Shop 'til you drop.
Awkward Situations Your Grandparents Never Had To Deal With
By CRACKED Readers Published: February 24th, 2017
Goodnight You Princes Of Maine, Kings Of The Cracked Store
By CRACKED Staff Published: February 24th, 2017
23 Ladies Who Made Us LOL This Week (And One Token Dude)
You're welcome, folks.
44 Hilarious Tweets About Food That'll Make You Cry Laughing Then Order A Pizza
"It's okay guacamole I am extra too."
(734): I feel like my foot is...
(734): I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why Your Ancestors Had Better Sex Than You
By CRACKED Staff Published: February 24th, 2017
(716): how do you feel about...
(716): how do you feel about japanese?
(1-716): I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
(613): 3 cups of coffee and some...
(613): 3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet".
4 Movie Inventions That Should've Instantly Saved The World
By Nick J.,Michael Dawson,Tara Marie Published: February 24th, 2017
Desperate Guy Gets Roasted After Attempting To Shame Clingy Girls
Karma's a b*tch!
Here's What's Coming To Netflix In March That Doesn't Suck
Binge on, friends.
Someone Found The Guy From The 'Calling The Police' Meme And He Still Looks Pissed
He's probably going to make an indignant phone call.
97% Of Adults Can't Pass This Elementary Test
We believe in you.
15 Ingeniously Designed Products That Will Make You LOL
We know these are cheesy but they'll make you feel grate.
15 People On The Moment They Realized Their Significant Other Was Batsh*t Crazy
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 2/23
By T. S. Obiech,Scott Laffey Published: February 23rd, 2017
(314): I just crop dusted the hot...
(314): I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
7 Tales Of Madness From Behind The Scenes At The Oscars
By Mark Hill Published: February 23rd, 2017
(570): I woke up on a different...
(570): I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Another F*cking Transformers Movie?
By CRACKED Staff Published: February 23rd, 2017
Get it while it's hot.
5 Little-Known Ways You Suck At Owning A Car
By J.F. Sargent Published: February 23rd, 2017
Permanent Third Wheel Documents Her Single Status With A Hilarious Instagram Account
15 People Share Weirdly Creative Ways To Fight Boredom At Work
Get your imagination on.
23 Advertisements That Need To Die, Right Now
By CRACKED Readers Published: February 23rd, 2017
Put Your 2017 Oscar Nominee Knowledge To The Test
How well do you know the 2017 Oscar Nominees?
19 Life-Saving Products For Anyone Who Sucks At Cooking
Because top-notch kitchen gadgets help you to do *less* work, not more.
(719): If you can't beat em,...
(719): If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How Society (Accidentally) Created Milo And Trump
By Robert Brockway Published: February 23rd, 2017
This 19-Year-Old Was Trolled By A Trump Supporter And Her Response Was Perfection
Careful who you taunt on Twitter.
(551): The day I let him eat me...
(551): The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society.
(204): How many times have you...
(204): How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
(1-204): Lol twice.
Author Dragged West Elm For Their POS Couch & Now They're Offering Refunds
Could this possibly be the world's worst couch?
5 People History Credits With 'Firsts' (Who Weren't First)
By Zach Sands, PhD Published: February 23rd, 2017
(540): Is there such thing as dick...
(540): Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
(518): He told us a story about a...
(518): He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
13 Ways To Make Your Oscars Viewing Party As Glamorous As The Stars Themselves
Your viewing party can do better than a cheese board.
Chrissy Teigen Trolls John Legend After Twitter Says He Looks Like Arthur
This Week In Bullsh*t Beauty Trends: People Are Getting Freckles Tattooed On Their Face
GTFO of here.
14 Oscar-Winning Movies You Can Stream On Netflix Before This Year's Ceremony
Prep for Sunday!
(701): I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A...
(701): I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT.
17 Ways To Be More Like Leslie Knope In Your Daily Life
Pro tip: eat more waffles.
Woman Shares Her Dramatic Body Transformation After Only Losing 1 Pound Because Weight Is Meaningless
It's just a number.
(423): She used to be cute, back...
(423): She used to be cute, back when we were young.
(276): Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Watch This Girl Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge On The Catcallers Who Asked If She Was On Her Period
Revenge feels good.
A Sweet Grandma Accidentally Sent Her Grandson This NSFW Card
4 Reasons The Razzies Suck (And Should Be Abolished Forever)
By Carolyn Burke Published: February 22nd, 2017
(724): According to my Fitbit I...
(724): According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar.
4 Impending Panics From The Past (And What Came Of Them)
By Luis Prada Published: February 22nd, 2017
5 Realities Of Reporting The News In A Brutal Dictatorship
By Robert Evans Published: February 22nd, 2017
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