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21 'Parks and Rec' lines that will never stop being hilarious  

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."

2017-06-22 20:50:25
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1 

Rihanna actually slid into a fan's DMs and gave him stellar breakup advice  

GODDESS.

2017-06-22 17:07:15
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2 

Instead of a flower girl, this bride and groom had a full-grown 'flower man'  

He took his job VERY seriously.

2017-06-22 17:05:05
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2 

Just 20 tweets from people who are terrible at being adults  

"If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?"

2017-06-22 15:39:13
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1 

This Bella Thorne bikini pic has a sneaky clue which hints that she's back with Scott Disick  

Can you spot it?

2017-06-22 13:41:39
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1 

(704): For future reference, when...  

(704): For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.

2017-06-22 13:30:39
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1 

(281): Two of my dealers just made...  

(281): Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?

2017-06-22 13:23:07
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3 

(716): i can believe you didnt get...  

(716): i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him (516): all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN.

2017-06-22 13:19:46
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4 

(608): you made it your goal to...  

(608): you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you.

2017-06-22 12:02:25
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1 

(607): It's 6am and I had to...  

(607): It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.

2017-06-22 11:32:12
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1 

(719): It took me an hour to walk...  

(719): It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?

2017-06-22 11:29:51
`
1 

(847): It all started with a game...  

(847): It all started with a game of naked twister.

2017-06-22 10:59:46
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2 

(605): I wish I could be the kind...  

(605): I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...

2017-06-22 10:45:33
`
1 

8 Things That Would Make The Force Awakens Amazing  

By Cody Johnston  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-22 08:54:39
`
2 

5 Mass Deaths You Never Noticed Happened In Cartoons  

By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz  Published: June 22nd, 2017 

2017-06-22 08:07:45
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2 

(416): how am i in montreal? thats...  

(416): how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.

2017-06-22 07:59:20
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2 

These hilariously accurate Uber jokes will resonate with anyone who's life depends on ride sharing  

When you think the conversation is going well then they stop replying

2017-06-22 07:44:03
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1 

25 random memes that'll make you spit out your morning coffee — June 22, 2017  

Served fresh daily.

2017-06-22 07:29:51
`
1 

7 Secret (And Stupid) Rules For Working For President Trump  

By Mark Hill  Published: June 22nd, 2017 

2017-06-22 07:02:26
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1 

The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 6/22  

By T. S. Obiech,Scott Laffey  Published: June 22nd, 2017 

2017-06-22 06:54:16
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1 

(256): I'll keep supplying...  

(256): I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.

2017-06-22 06:32:22
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1 

12 of the most impressive deals Amazon has to offer today  



2017-06-22 05:56:34
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1 

(816): Today's hangover is...  

(816): Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.

2017-06-22 05:28:15
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0 

12 embarrassing beach stories that are so good, you'd probably wish them upon your worst enemy  

"Everyone stared at me."

2017-06-22 05:12:17
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0 

(920): He walked into the bar with...  

(920): He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple.

2017-06-22 04:07:51
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1 

4 Problems That Should Infuriate Americans  

By Jordan Breeding  Published: June 22nd, 2017 

2017-06-22 02:08:24
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1 

15 people shared their go-to hype song and the results will make you feel invincible  

"TO THE WINDOW, TO THE WALL!"

2017-06-22 01:37:55
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1 

Ariel Winter clapped back at a tabloid that claimed she pays her boyfriend an allowance  

"I don't support anyone, and I don't need anyone to support me." 

2017-06-22 01:34:39
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0 

Anna Faris is doing the Lord's work by tweeting shirtless photos of husband Chris Pratt  

Bless you, Anna.

2017-06-22 01:07:22
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1 

This salty high school senior used a yearbook quote to throw shade at her school's dress code one last time  

This is a pretty sexist double-standard.

2017-06-21 21:21:49
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3 

Dr. Pimple Popper clobbered this whopper lipoma and “juicy” is an understatement  

I can't handle this right now.

2017-06-21 17:56:23
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1 

10 tearful flower girls who clearly stole the show with honest reactions  



2017-06-21 14:09:51
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1 

12 of the most impressive deals Amazon has to offer today  

Let's go shopping!

2017-06-21 13:16:24
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4 

This sad groomsman wedding photo is going viral, because the bromance is way too real  

"Well, we all know that Mitch wasn't easily letting his best friend go ... "

2017-06-21 12:59:19
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0 

Computers Won't Take Your Jobs, They're Creating New Ones  

By Robert Evans  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-21 12:16:25
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3 

(315): I brought her cheeseburgers...  

(315): I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.

2017-06-21 11:05:04
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2 

(619): I feel like people expect...  

(619): I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.

2017-06-21 10:57:40
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3 

19 adorable puppers swimming in mid-air because they think they're in the water  

Silly doggos, you're not even in the water!

2017-06-21 10:42:13
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3 

(719): Guys are like someone...  

(719): Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.

2017-06-21 10:37:55
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0 

5 Movies That Taught A Lesson Its Characters Totally Ignored  

By James Kinneen  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-21 10:28:58
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2 

5 things all zodiac signs need to know about the summer solstice  

"You might be feeling a tad more emotional over the next month."

2017-06-21 10:04:09
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1 

(706): Good new is, my parents are...  

(706): Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.

2017-06-21 09:59:07
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1 

Here's what's coming to your ex's Netflix account In July  

Go forth and binge!

2017-06-21 08:59:52
`
1 

(501): They cut me off when I...  

(501): They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.

2017-06-21 08:35:12
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2 

(604): I thought the first time I...  

(604): I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...

2017-06-21 08:18:42
`
1 

11 emergency kit essentials brides will 100% need on their big day  

There's always option B.

2017-06-21 08:08:35
`
1 

26 random memes that'll make you spit out your morning coffee — June 21, 2017  

They're the feel-good memes of the summer.

2017-06-21 07:08:08
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1 

Super Mario Odyssey! New Video Games! E3 2017 And More!  

By CRACKED Staff  Published: June 20th, 2017 

2017-06-21 06:21:20
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1 

(701): Did you get your nipples...  

(701): Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...

2017-06-21 06:01:50
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1 

13 people confess the illegal thing they're really good at  



2017-06-21 05:58:11
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1 

(707): all im saying is 27 is too...  

(707): all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit (720): screw you you golddigging beer snob.

2017-06-21 05:33:41
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2 

100 people revealed to the weirdest places they've had sex and we're honestly impressed  

So many churches.

2017-06-21 05:12:51
`
1 

When Making Fun Of World Leaders Gets You Thrown In Jail  

By Ryan Menezes  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-21 04:59:12
`
1 

10 Must-Have Skills That Will Give Your Resume A Huge Boost  

By CRACKED Store  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-21 04:06:41
`
1 

17 people shared short videos that'll make you cry laughing, every time  

Crank the volume

2017-06-21 03:41:53
`
1 

(416): I just destroyed that poor...  

(416): I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.

2017-06-21 03:29:46
`
1 

This is how your favorite 'Orange Is The New Black' characters look in real life  

Damn Helen...

2017-06-21 03:28:57
`
1 

(601): Hey, is this going to be a...  

(601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

2017-06-21 03:16:52
`
1 

Someone discovered an old book of kinky Victorian parlor games, and Twitter is screaming  

I dare one of you to play "Feed The Baby."

2017-06-21 02:54:18
`
1 

5 Absurd Things American Schools Do To Completely Ruin Lunch  

By Jim Avery  Published: June 21st, 2017 

2017-06-21 02:34:30
`
3 

(406): I made out with a 40 year...  

(406): I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.

2017-06-21 02:27:28
`
1 

(902): what happened to you last...  

(902): what happened to you last night? (1-902): I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me.

2017-06-21 01:04:11
`
1 

Mattel's new Ken dolls have man buns, and they can get TF out of here  

"That new Ken doll has already ignored 2 of my texts while still liking my Instagram posts."

2017-06-20 17:54:12
`
1 

19 jokes for girls cool enough to laugh at themselves  

It's a girl thing

2017-06-20 14:17:28
`
4 

Teachers are sharing the most elaborate ways students have tried to cheat, and they're kind of impressive  

Not even mad about it.

2017-06-20 12:44:01
`
3 

(044): i accidentally gave my...  

(044): i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.

2017-06-20 11:51:49
`
2 

Stop what you're doing, 'Bachelor In Paradise' is officially back on  

"Our internal investigation, conducted with the assistance of an outside law firm, has now been completed."

2017-06-20 11:48:29
`
3 

(773): We power houred with shots...  

(773): We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.

2017-06-20 11:01:41
`
2 

21 unbelievably sexy rib tattoos that prove beauty is pain  

Seriously considering getting #5.

2017-06-20 10:55:16
`
2 

(414): Howd it go? (1-414): Well...  

(414): Howd it go? (1-414): Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.

2017-06-20 10:53:18
`
1 

Josh Peck didn't invite Drake Bell to his wedding, and the internet is reeling  

What happened??

2017-06-20 09:05:28
`
1 

All the WTF moments from last night's 'Bachelorette' episode in just 38 tweets  

Lee is a snake.

2017-06-20 08:47:06
`
3 

How 9/11 Changed 90s Sitcoms Forever  

By Cody Johnston,After Hours  Published: June 19th, 2017 

2017-06-20 08:46:05
`
3 

What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (6/25/2017)  

By Katie Goldin,Andres Diplotti  Published: June 19th, 2017 

2017-06-20 08:36:04
`
4 

(530): I doubt the gods of funday...  

(530): I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.

2017-06-20 08:21:01
`
4 

(570): She flashed us last time...  

(570): She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.

2017-06-20 08:12:12
`
2 

This mom made friends with her daughter's college football team during orientation and people cannot deal  

Get it momma!

2017-06-20 07:12:02
`
1 

(269): I just borrowed porn from...  

(269): I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.

2017-06-20 06:54:23
`
0 

These outdoor drinking games will step your next summer party up a notch  

Liquid courage

2017-06-20 06:44:23
`
1 

5 Laws Foreign Countries Got Right (That We Need In America)  

By Pauli Poisuo  Published: June 20th, 2017 

2017-06-20 06:28:54
`
1 

24 random memes that'll make you spit out your morning coffee — June 20, 2017  

Enter the meme stream.

2017-06-20 06:26:58
`
2 

(319): Update: tequila girl had...  

(319): Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants.

2017-06-20 05:16:13
`
2 

(812): If I could I'd...  

(812): If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.

2017-06-20 04:34:10
`
3 

The 6 Lowest Of The Many Low Points In Reality Show History  

By Alyssa Feller  Published: June 20th, 2017 

2017-06-20 04:27:24
`
1 

(812): I'm making a will, in...  

(812): I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.

2017-06-20 03:41:55
`
0 

(319): I just threw up into a baby...  

(319): I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.

2017-06-20 03:06:48
`
2 

13 of the most impressive deals Amazon has to offer today  

Get them before they're gone!

2017-06-20 03:02:30
`
1 

17 people on how they felt when they ran into their exes for the first time after the breakup  

"I nearly vomited."

2017-06-20 02:23:30
`
1 

Chrissy Teigen's Father's Day gift to John Legend was very … naked  

"Gift level 10/10."

2017-06-20 02:09:25
`
1 

6 Places Around The World Where All Your Old Crap Ends Up  

By Justin Crockett  Published: June 20th, 2017 

2017-06-20 02:02:40
`
0 

(504): I need to stop waking up...  

(504): I need to stop waking up with no pants on. (1-504): what happened this time (504): I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room.

2017-06-20 01:51:05
`
2 

5 Annoying Movie Tropes  

By Daniel Dockery  Published: June 20th, 2017 

2017-06-20 01:41:19
`
2 

16 products for the secretly obsessed turtle fanatics  

Yes, you.

2017-06-20 01:34:48
`
1 

(765): On today's episode of...  

(765): On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.

2017-06-20 01:07:28
`
3 

This magician's performance on 'America's Got Talent' will leave you utterly baffled  

Seriously, how did he do that??

2017-06-19 19:52:47
`
3 

People are weeping over these sisters gifting their stepdad with adoption papers on Father's Day  

"This is so beautiful."

2017-06-19 19:19:49
`
7 

10 doctor's office photos from patients taking visits with stride  

Laughter is the best medicine

2017-06-19 17:29:04
`
3 

Lucy Hale is facing angry criticism on Instagram for calling herself 'fat'  

Her followers are NOT pleased.

2017-06-19 14:37:08
`
3 

(630): Well, the night started out...  

(630): Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.

2017-06-19 13:48:12
`
4 

12 of the most impressive deals Amazon has to offer today  

Shop your way through Monday.

2017-06-19 13:17:29
`
5 




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