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 (314): Hes back in his dorm room...
(314): Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
(314): and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
2017-08-20 05:41:49
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(814): The fact that I made out...
(814): The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
2017-08-19 12:39:35
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(404): Would you by any chance...
(404): Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
2017-08-19 09:22:48
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(214): I keep worrying the police...
(214): I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
(817): For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
2017-08-19 08:22:02
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(+03): They sent him a photo of me...
(+03): They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️.
2017-08-19 07:22:19
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(814): I mean, you've had my...
(814): I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
2017-08-19 04:15:31
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(551): I need my sock, sombrero,...
(551): I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too.
2017-08-19 02:19:19
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(760): Don't get mad but...
(760): Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
2017-08-19 01:12:44
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(612): You shouted "my...
(612): You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed.
2017-08-18 11:02:49
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